Post 2.

Since I last wrote I've been feeling the pressure to more actively prepare for departure. I've bought a bag and selected a few items that I imagine might come in useful. Most of my preparations, however, have taken place in my mind. It's difficult to prepare 'stuff', as in select the things I need to take or buy before leaving, because I'm so reluctant to plan what it is I'm going to do. In my first post I wrote of taking an approach to living rather than planning a series of predefined experiences. This is still largely how I'm thinking about what lays ahead, but I'm also struggling to remain relaxed in being so open-minded. And actually, I think there's good reason to planning some things. Quite obviously, the choices that basically define how we live are not going away. Where am I going to sleep? Who am I going to talk to? These questions have been my preoccupation, and I now have some answers to them - in other words, I've made a couple of decisions that I plan to stick to. First up, I'm going to stay in Amsterdam for a good month or more. Amsterdam is a relatively safe environment for me because I already know the city well. However, there's also plenty happening in Amsterdam that will suprise and intrigue me, so it lives up to the demands I intend to make on the places I live in. Second, I'm planning on camping when the genuine kindness of my friends has run its course. Camping appeals to my back-to-basics ambitions. It also compliments my budget. I've read of a campsite that has a reputation for being a place of constant partying. This could well be an annoying trait for a place in which I hope to get sleep, but it could also be a proper laugh. If any of you fancy a good holiday on a tight budget, bring a tent over to Zeeburg and share the shade with me in May and probably June.

There's another subject I want to raise in this post. I've been thinking about the costs and benefits of contemplating the future. It strikes me that I spend a great deal of time thinking about what will realistically happen in the near, sometimes medium, and occasionally distant future. I'm talking about imagining a day at work in advance, or imagining a meeting with a friend before it happens, or contemplating my circumstances in a year's time. Most of my thoughts of this nature have a negative and pessimistic tone. In contrast, there are times when I try hard to engage with the present, and these times are mostly pleasant and positive. Therefore, it seems reasonable that the 'living in the present' so often advocated is actually a good idea. But what does it mean to live in the present? I'm thinking that it partly means avoiding anxiety about anything that isn't immediately pressing. It may also mean putting effort into appreciating the interest, attraction or humour in every situation. In sum, living in the present encourages us to enjoy what is instantly achievable, rather than betting on hope for future satisfaction. This is nothing new, but worth thinking about nonetheless. What do you think?